Start Secretly dating an older man

Secretly dating an older man

For as long as I can remember, I’ve preferred older men.

Plus they tend to live alone, which means no queueing for the bathroom in the mornings while their weird flatmate is covering 90% of his body with Veet. You’ll actually use your landline To your average forty- or fiftysomething, Tinder is what you use to start fires. They might write you – gasp – an actual love letter.

Your new romantic prospect will likely woo you the analogue way, which means entire evenings spent on the sofa waiting for the landline to ring (and dialling 1471 every five minutes just in case you unwittingly blacked out for a couple of seconds and missed a call). Plan your nights out Choose your dinner venues carefully.

But seriously, folks – single men of this vintage have masses going for them. If you wait around for him to make the first move you could be waiting a long, looong time. Flutter those eyelashes, open that second bottle of Jacob’s Creek, seductively nibble the leftover salad garnish on his plate.

Their duvet covers and pillowcases match (such sophistication, so romance), and their minds are unsullied by Redtube. In terms of how strong you should come on, think ‘Golf Sale’ sign.

This is embarrassing, though less so for you than it is for those doing the mistaking.

Gender politics: you win some, you lose some Your beloved will have come of age in the 1970s or 1980s. Yes, middle-aged men are less keen on gymnastics than their twentysomething counterparts, but as anyone who’s ever done their back in half way through will tell you, this is by no means a bad thing. Your plus-one will probably have an ex-wife (or two), and children who might not be much younger than you. Handle meetings as you would any other tricky social situation by tanking up on wine beforehand.

So all being well, he should be fully conversant with feminist theory. However, he will also have lived through an era in which office bottom-pinching was still considered megalolz. It’s all the same lying down When people find out that you’re regularly breakfasting with someone several decades your senior, they’ll inevitably get all giggly, and then finally pluck up the courage to ask you: ‘But is it different? And remember, it’s a bit like bears: they’re more scared of you than you are of them.