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World famous terrific businessman and frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination (LOL) Donald Trump took a break Tuesday night from saying shit-ass things about the Brussels attacks to defend a woman’s honor. Though he considers his daughter to be spectacularly fuckable, we’re talking about his wife Melania.

We know she used to be a big Goldman Sachs Wall Street lady. We know she’s legally blind, because she’s on record saying that Ted Cruz looks just like God. This one actually be newsworthy.) Did Donald Trump bang her????

(CORRECTION: Our sources at “science” have informed us that does not mean Heidi Cruz is “blind,” but that she has bad taste in men, or maybe she’s never actually seen what Our Lord looks like naked. Does she put on waders and dumpster-dive behind Planned Parenthood at night, so she can steal all the delicious Texas BBQ-style Planned Parenthood baby parts to eat for dinner, because she’s too much of a cheapskate to pay full price?

Hope Howell & Bruce Venture in My Wife Is My Pornstar I've been chatting with a guy online.

He has a huge dick and luckily he's finally in town. Who: Bad Girl, Married Woman, Stranger Where: Bed, Bedroom, Floor Categories: American, Ass smacking, Ball licking, Big Dick, Blow Job, Brunette, Caucasian, Cum in Mouth, Deepthroating, High Heels, Medium Ass, Medium Natural Tits, Tattoos, Trimmed Released: Feb 22, 2016 Watch This Porn Video Who: Bad Girl, Friend's Wife, Married Woman Where: Bed, Bedroom Categories: American, Ass licking, Ball licking, Big Dick, Blow Job, Brunette, Caucasian, Cum in Mouth, Deepthroating, Facial, Green Eyes, Hairy Pussy, High Heels, Interracial, Medium Ass, Medium Natural Tits, Natural Tits, Piercings, Tattoos Released: Feb 8, 2016 Watch This Porn Video Who: Bad Girl, Co-ed, College Girl, Friend, Student Where: Couch, Living room Categories: American, Big Dick, Blow Job, Brunette, Bubble Butt, Caucasian, Cum in Mouth, Deepthroating, Facial, Hairy bush, Innie Pussy, Medium Ass, Natural Tits, Petite, Small Natural Tits, Small Tits, Tattoos, Young Released: Jun 30, 2014 Watch This Porn Video Phoenix Marie & Hope Howell & Derrick Pierce in My First Sex Teacher Hope Howell walks in on her teacher, Phoenix Marie, getting fucked by her classmate, Derrick. Who: Classmate, Professor, Student, Teacher Where: Classroom, Desk Categories: 69, American, Ass licking, Ass smacking, Ball licking, Big Ass, Big Dick, Big Fake Tits, Big Tits, Blonde, Blow Job, Brunette, Caucasian, Cum in Mouth, Fake Tits, Glasses, Hairy bush, High Heels, Medium Ass, Natural Tits, Shaved, Small Natural Tits, Small Tits, Swallowing, Threesome, Threesome BGG Released: May 23, 2014 Watch This Porn Video Who: Trainer Where: Floor, Living room Categories: 69, American, Ass smacking, Ball licking, Big Dick, Blow Job, Brunette, Caucasian, Cum in Mouth, Deepthroating, Green Eyes, Hairy bush, Hand Job, Medium Ass, Natural Tits, Small Natural Tits, Small Tits Released: Apr 7, 2014 Watch This Porn Video Hope Howell & Johnny Castle in My Friend's Hot Girl Hope Howell is baking a cake for her boyfriend's birthday, but she's not great in the kitchen so she calls her boyfriend's friend,...

Date published: Mar 27, 2014 Harley Dean decides that she's done enough hiking and breaks off from her friends in order to return to the cabin where her friend's brother is hanging out.

Anyshizz, Ted Cruz The Canadian Fisty Man pulled his Canadian Fist out of his Bible Hole (he was having alone time and Trump interrupted him) and shook it at Trump on the tweeter: Uh oh shots fired whoa, like Heidi Cruz probably got the biggest ladyboner of her whole life seeing her husband defend her like that. ” she probably said before she raised her skirts and flung herself prostrate on the settee so she could show her appreciation, by copulating with her husband. Like, we’ve heard about the time she was found on the side of the road in Texas, and a cop thought she was a “danger to herself,” and that she has struggled with depression.

OLD NEWS, Trump, you can read it in last year’s issue of “Buzz Feed” next time you’re on the john.

In the first one, which he quickly deleted, he forgot to say “Lyin’ Ted.” It’s all about branding, obviously, just like Trump Steaks and the Mar-a-Lago.

How will people even know which smarmy choad-faced human punching bag named Ted Cruz he’s talking about if he doesn’t include his #branding? You are dying of the mental images in your head right now. Ted Cruz is technically correct, though we are loath to admit such a thing. But WTF is Donald Trump threatening to reveal about Heidi Cruz????

Wonkette is a booby-positive mommyblog, so we must say this Make America Awesome group what’s trying to elect Cruz and Stop Trump is a big fuck-passel of prudish dickholes.

Of course, the group ran this ad (and a few others) to convince Mormons in Utah and Arizona not to vote Trump, presumably because seeing Melania all wet like that would make them feel shame up inside their magic underpants near their dirty-holes, and Ted Cruz DID win the United States Of Mormon Utah, so …. So Donald Trump clocked in at his “office” AKA Twitter and blamed Ted Cruz, with an extra-special threat added for Ted’s wife Heidi: tweet Trump sent.