Start Communication problems in dating

Communication problems in dating

A couple of years ago, I spoke with a reader that was struggling to get over a six month ‘relationship’ where it had become apparent that he had a limited interest and was seeing other women.

If they’re not calling you regularly or at all, and instead are opting for distanced means of communication, they are not that interested in you – they’re stoking your fire for when they next want your company.

It doesn’t matter if it’s not what you want or you didn’t ‘verbally’ agree to it – by participating and acting like it’s a full on relationship, they end up getting more for less.

All became clear when I asked about how often they communicated and there had only been two phonecalls in six months. That wasn’t a ‘relationship’ – it was like being a sexual pen pal.

When it all boiled down to it, most of the lazy communication via text and email served 4 purposes: From the perspective of the ‘offender’, it’s obvious that this isn’t a relationship because they, for example in this case, have only called twice in six months and in their eyes, it’s a casual arrangement where they get a shag, an ego stroke, and a shoulder to lean on.

Just because sex is involved and they’re nice when they do eventually speak to or see you, it doesn’t make it a If they predominantly want to communicate via text, email etc, they’re passing time with you and keeping you on the fringes of their life, not the ‘inner circle’.

As they say in ‘Meet The Parents’ – you’re not in the “circle of trust”.

Let’s be real – If you only called someone you had sex or ‘romantic involvement’ with occasionally, would you really think that you were 1) that interested in them and that 2) they’re a priority?